About Me
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Life is an illusion.
Everything you feel, sense and experience is nothing but illusion. Do you know what is true and what is fake? Even the colors are seen in different ways by certain groups of species. Is it really RED you are seeing?
Born to this world, you are born as a slave. Freedom is an another illusion. Only death will grant you freedom. Death is the well deserved relief after a life-time labor. But what are you working so hard for? Governments use you in a way, that it doesn't even bother you. Manipulated by the mass media, sitting in your comfortable home, you are not aware, even in the slightest way of the dangers you are facing. You can never know when will the government decide to get rid of you. And they will, if they want. You will be sentenced for years because of illegal downloads, for example, and you won't have not even the slightest right to oppose.
The amount of money you posses is not changing your life in any way. Another illusion you are fooled by. Your life is the same as the homeless', who lives like a rat on the streets or in the sewers. Never think even for a second, that material possessions will change you into another person or change your life. You are driven and ruled by the same fear as everybody else:
the fear of death and dying.
Why are you afraid of darkness?
Why do you change your behavior in certain situations?
Why do you avoid different places, parts of your town?
Why don't you just run away, instead of whining because of your unsatisfying life conditions?
If running away seems impossible for you, why don't you just commit suicide?
There is only one way to die, but numberless ways of committing suicide. Suicide can be painless, if you are frightened of pain. Or anytime you can recourse to euthanasia, if your hesitation is holding you back. But you shouldn't be held back neither by fear nor pain. Try to understand the point of suicide and accept it as the way to the real freedom and the only way of overcoming the fear of death. Those who have understood this, are no longer among us.
Life is meaningless.
Existence is futile.
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Interests
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It`s not my interest to have interests. So I don`t really have such things. Most of the things and phenomenons I experience/have experienced are totally uninteresting and irrelevant. Interests presume passion, but passion is what I lack. I haven`t really found anything yet, what I could be passionate about. You love, you are loved back, till someone fucks it up. And then the rainbow of the 'One', the soulmate, will keep telling you not to worry, that someday everything will be fine. But it won`t be. And it will never be. Still, I`m looking for that something/someone to fill this empty space that ironically can be found even on this kind of a profile. If it`s nowhere to be found, I have my own ways of obligating it to find me. After all I`m not the one in life`s catch 22. Life`s in mine.
No misapprehension though, the situation is not that tragic, eventually. The genius of some people can really light some flares of passion in my humble persona. This is how I feel when playing the piano, for instance, doing some procreative work, or just killing zombies in my dreams. Oh, and I feel passion when I see religious fanatics [mostly christians, in my current habitat], some kind of passion for annihilation. When this particular group couldn`t find any word, that would describe them [word that would include several of words like pitiful, ignorant, pathetic, foolish, ridiculous, brainless etc. in a single one], they named themselves christians [and someone`s smiling right now, reading these familiar lines, hehe]. So that`s about my interests, let`s just turn a page, shall we?
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Favorite Music
This 'favorite' list is constantly changing, just like my mood. I can say, it`s following it. I can`t tell which are my favorite band, just the ones I`ve been in love with for a determinating piece of time [that means, I kept in mind the band name, and ideally some song/album titles].
Here we go:
Lifelover
Agalloch
Apati
Sancta Poenas
To.Suffer.In.
Havarax
End of Green
Carpathian Forest
Nokturnal Mortum
Apothic
Nokturnal Mortum
Enter Shikari
Backyard Babies
Pensées Nocturnes
zoltan-
Borgore
Reso
Slugabed
CKY
Drop Dead, Gorgeous
Heretoir
Ibex Throne
Urgehal
The Postal Service
The Scarabeusdream
Vondur
Amesoeurs
Alcest
P:407
beautiful:emptiness
Impavida
Hypothermia
Nyktalgia
Bad Whoremoans
Redneck Girlfriend
Niño Zombi
Ulver
Wolven Ancestry
Svarrogh
Beatsteaks
Cockney Rejects
Mustard Plug
Ramones
The Who
Between the Buried and Me
Breakdance Kickboxer
The Devil Wears Prada
Dr. Acula
The Dillinger Escape Plan
The Cure
The Smiths
Brokencyde
Clear Static
Cold Cry
Converge
Diagnose: Lebensgefahr
Orgy
Pixies
Placebo
Reverend Horton Heat
Shady Bard
Akira Yamaoka [Silent Hill soundtracks]
Raunchy
The Birthday Massacre
The Killers
Thursday
Windmill
The Dresden Dolls
Anyway, here is my last.fm profile, you have to solve a riddle to get to it, but I guess nothing`s for free.
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Favorite Movies
First of all, I find most of the movies utterly boring and meaningless. Films should represent a form of art, not an ultimate crap, and after watching them, you should have other thoughts than 'Fuckin` god! I`ve wasted another 90 minutes of my life!'. Oh well. I`m a zombie flick fanatic, can`t really tell why, I just feel a natural affinity for these fascinating creatures. But let`s see the list.
Gummo
Lost Boys
28 Days Later
Leon the Professional
Interview With the Vampire
Aftermath
Lucio Fulci`s Zombie
Dawn of the Dead [1978]
The Seventh Seal
Jin Roh
Hellsing OVA
Vampire Hunter D
Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
Ken Park
Fight Club
Snatch
Stalker
Dead Snow
Corpse Bride
An America Werewolf in London
Nosferatu [1922]
Evil Dead Series
Braindead
Amélie
The Blair Witch Project
Eraserhead
Trainspotting
Let the Right One In
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Favorite TV Shows
Fuck TV. Enough said.
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Favorite Books
Books don`t represent such an important source of inspiration for me, so I don`t spend too much time reading. Why should i need someone else`s fantasies, thoughts, philosophy, when I have my own? On the other hand I really enjoy reading history/history related books and absolutely love biographies. No list here.
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Favorite Quote
I hate to repeat myself, so don`t have such thing.
I hate to repeat myself, so don`t have such thing.
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